How to Grieve?

Trigger Warning: Dealing with greif - Depressive Life took a sudden and horrible change this week, and my heart horse is being given to another family unless I can somehow buy her by tomorrow. It's not likely to happen, so I'm asking for advice on how to grieve for a horse that's still alive? The story: I took ownership of my mare last year with the agreement in one years time, I'd buy her. She was a mistreated, malnurished, and traumatized mare with so many health needs. My trainer and I worked tirelessly turning her into something fabulous with all the potential in the world. It looked like we were going to afford her- but then this week my life fell on its head and the money is no longer there. Another family offered a cow to her actual owners in exchange for her and theyre accepting the offer. I dont know if this family has ever had horses, but theyre supposedly aware she's not rideable. They want a pasture puff for their young daughter. Im afraid because this mare needs so much maintenance work and I dont know if theyll keep up with it plus she's not even close to beginner friendly- lotta attitude and quirks. Im so scared for my mares future and beating myself up for not being able to buy her. I feel like I failed her. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with the heartbreak and how not to continuously beat myself up for it? Im going to write out a care sheet for her for some peace of mind, but Im worried it's not enough. How do you say goodbye to your best friend?

Rider Question

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LynnD

Rising Star

This is difficult. You will grieve as if she has passed . Allow yourself to move through the stages as you would if she had left this life. It will take the time it takes. Find people to talk to about it and try to find others who have been through it to talk to. You will work through it with time. It may be possible that the new owner is willing to communicate with you but you need to decide if this will be better or worse for you and prolong the pain. It is hard, I have been through the loss of a beloved horse . Allow yourself to feel the grief and move through the stages , denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. You will come out the other side whole and ready to make a new relationship and give your love to another horse.

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05/03/24-21:07

BerengereA

PS Squad

I feel so sorry for you while reading your lines . What you experience at this moment is one of the aspect of equestrian world which is not nice : money wise , I saw some rich people leaving their pony in a stable for 48h while they prefer skiing during the week end and I saw passionate people having no money enough to own their horse and spending their life to devote to the horses of someone else, even pro riders experienced sometimes they gave all to the horse and finally the horse is sold by the owner without any prior notice just for a huge amount of dollars . You gave to an animal your best care and love , this positive environment will give some building steps for her future. If possible try to stay in touch with the future owners, who knows, they might need your help and experienced advises to behave with her at the beginning . The story is maybe not finished yet , but another story is waiting for you . All the best for tomorrow 💕. (edited)

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05/03/24-21:09

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